


I'm Here

by tears_of_the_sun



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Graphic Description, Gun Violence, Hurt Eddie Diaz, Multi, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:35:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23710012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tears_of_the_sun/pseuds/tears_of_the_sun
Summary: When Eddie doesn't show up to work for two days, Buck panics and has to find him.
Relationships: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 75





	I'm Here

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! Please pay attention to the tags. This has a possible warning for a suicide attempt with a gun. Take care of yourselves!

It was day two of Eddie not being at work, and not answering his phone. Buck walked up into Bobby’s office all high and mighty. He walked in and slammed the door, Buck wasn’t joking around, and it would be known. “Where is he?!” Buck yelled at bobby while slamming his hands on the Captain’s desk. Buck was in no mood for fun and games or the ‘I don’t know, and I can’t tell you even if I did’ crap. “Bobby you know everything, where the hell is Eddie!” Buck demanded, keeping his expression straight, but his eyes were a mixture of cold, distant, and worry. 

Bobby looked up from the paperwork he had been filling out. He stood as the door close, “Buck, calm down. I don’t know where Eddie is, actually I was hoping you did,” Bobby said studying the boy. He didn’t take Buck’s sternness personal. He knew Buck was worried. 

As soon as Bobby said, ‘I was hoping you did’, Buck’s expression plummeted. Bobby could tell that he had no idea. “Buck... talk to me,” He said getting rapidly more concerned. Buck removed his hands from the desk, backing up slowly. He turned on his heels and made a run for it. 

Buck ran to the fireman’s pole, jumped down it, and ran out of the station. He climbed into his Wrangler and high tailed it to Eddies. He went at least 70 but cruised more so around 100 MPH. Buck pulled up and parked behind Eddie’s truck and ran to the front door pounding on it. “EDDIE!” he screamed “Open up!” he followed up with quickly after. When there was no answer, Buck kicked down the door. 

Buck was taken aback at the sight in front of him. There, in the kitchen was Eddie. Eddie had tears running down his cheeks. His body was shaking violently, and he was thin. Buck studied every aspect of Eddie’s body. Starting at his legs, working his way up his torso, and landing at Eddies right arm being held at a 45 degree angle, with his index finger on the trigger of a 9mm. There was the man he loved, the man he would die for, holding a gun to his head. 

“Eddie- Eddie talk to me,” Buck said slowly walking towards the man. “S-stay back!” Eddie yelled between the sobs ripping through his body. “Eddie, I’m here. I’m right here. I want to help, let me help” Buck said slowly stepping closer, but so slowly Eddie hopefully wouldn’t notice. Eddie continued to sob, pressing the black piece of deathly metal closer to his skull. 

“Eddie, No!” Buck pleaded. “Eddie, Eddie look at me. Look at me. I love you, I’m here. What about Christopher? Your mom? Bobby? The team?” He pleaded. “Eddie, we all need you. And we are here for you.” Buck continued. “Eddie, look at me,” Buck pleaded with him, searching his expression. Buck couldn’t lose him. Not now, not ever. He loved him far too much for that. He was getting closer... slowly... 

“I needed all of you!” Eddie sobbed, “I needed all of you weeks ago!” Eddie continued, “I needed someone, anyone to notice me! Notice I wasn’t me! Notice the bruises. Notice the pain!” He sobbed. A flash of hurt ran across Buck’s face. 

“Eddie, Eddie I noticed. I noticed the pain. I noticed the flashbacks. I noticed your spot being empty in the middle of the night. I noticed when you stopped talking at work. I noticed the jumpiness. Eddie, I noticed. I noticed you would cringe when I touched you. The bruised knuckles. The fact you couldn’t hold your duffle bag without wincing. How you would flinch even at Christopher’s touch, Eddie I noticed it all, And I’m here. Now please, put down the gun,” Buck begged, he couldn’t lose him. He knew Eddie had gotten bad. He knew he had been fighting, he tried to help but Eddie had pushed him away and they weren’t technically dating so it wasn’t his place to push. He could not survive Eddie’s death. It would ruin him. 

Eddie’s sobs ripped through him as tears burned his eyes and ran down his face. Half of them dropped into his shirt, soaking it through, and the other half fell down to the floor. He pushed the gun more against his head, as his finger got slightly tighter on the trigger. 

That was it, Buck took a big leap and caught Eddie off guard. Buck twisted Eddie’s wrist nearly breaking his finger, but he got the gun away from Eddie and cleared it in two swift motions. The bullet that had been in the chamber fell to the floor with a small clink. Buck set the gun on the counter. 

Eddie’s body lifelessly collapsed to the floor as sobs continued to wrack his body. Buck dropped to his knees and pulled Eddie into his arms. “I’m here, I’m here. I’ll be with you forever, Eddie, I’m right here.” Buck said firmly. Buck rocked back and forth, holding the man he loved with all his might. Eddie’s torso was stretched against Buck’s torso. Eddie’s neck rested in Buck’s left arm, right in his elbow. Buck stroked Eddie’s dark brown, curly hair with his right, as Eddie continued to sob. 

It had all been too much for him, and he couldn’t escape it. Any of it. He couldn’t escape the fear, the flashbacks, the noises. God, even the small things triggered him now a days. He had been working with Frank, but it wasn’t helping as much as he knew it should’ve. Eddie sobbed into Buck, and eventually calmed down. His body was still trembling; however, he had stopped crying for the most part. He didn’t move from Buck’s arms, they were safe. He, was safe. 

Buck’s arms were wrapped tightly around his body, rocking gently. They were calming, grounding, soothing. “i-I’m sorry,” Eddie whispered softly when he finally found it in him to speak again. Buck stroked his hair, “Shhh, you have nothing to be sorry for. I’m just grateful you’re still breathing.” He whispered, slowly shifting so he wasn’t on his knees anymore. “Eddie don’t scare me like that again, You hear?” he whispered softly, holding Eddie as if his life depended on it. He was never, ever letting go of Eddie ever again, and Eddie didn’t want him to.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I hope you liked it, feel free to give any/ all feedback.


End file.
